1. Only in America……can the pizza get to your residence faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there encumber parking places in front of the skating rink.
3. Only in America……do stores have the ill travel all the approach to the behind of the store to get their prescriptions whilst full of health people can buy cigarettes during the front.
4. Only in America……do people sequence stand in cheeseburgers, vast fries, as good as the diet coke.
5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors open as good as afterwards sequence the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave cars value thousands of dollars in the expostulate as good as put the invalid junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do we have make make make make use of of of of of responding machines to shade calls as good as afterwards have call watchful so we won’t skip the call from someone we didn’t wish to speak to in the initial place.
8. Only in America……do we buy prohibited dogs in packages of 10 as good as buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America……do we have make make make make use of of of of of the word ‘politics’ to report the routine so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin definition ‘many’ as good as ‘tics’ definition ‘bloodsucking creatures’
10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM’s with Braille lettering.
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EVER WONDER
Why the object lightens the hair, though darkens the skin?
Why women can’t put upon mascara with their mouth closed?
Why do not we ever see the title "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such the prolonged word?
*Why is it which doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon extract done with synthetic flavor, as good as plate soaking glass done with genuine lemons?
Why is the male who invests all your income called the broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest trade called pour out hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is brand new as good as softened tasting, who tests it?
Why didn’t Noah hit those dual mosquitoes?
Why do they emasculate the needle for fatal injections?
You know which very durable black box which is used upon airplanes? Why do not they have the total craft out of which stuff??
Why do not sheep cringe when it rains?
Why have been they called apartments when they have been all stranded together?
If criminal is the conflicting of pro, is Congress the conflicting of progress?
If drifting is so safe, since do they call the airfield the terminal?
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In box we indispensable serve explanation which the tellurian competition is cursed by stupidity, here have been the little tangible tag instructions upon consumer goods:
On the Sears hairdryer: Do not have make make make make use of of of of of whilst sleeping. ( we have no alternative time to dry my hair).
On the bag of Frito’s: ..You could be the winner! No squeeze necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On the club of Dial soap: "Directions: Use similar to unchanging soap." (and which would be how…?)
On the little Swanson solidified dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." ( But, it’s "just" the suggestion).
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed upon bottom): "Do not spin upside down." (well… the bit late, huh?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be prohibited after heating." (…noooo… Really?)
On wrapping for the Rowena iron: "Do not iron garments upon body." (but wouldn’t this save me some-more time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: "Do not expostulate the automobile or work machine after receiving this medication." (We could do the lot to revoke the rate of building the whole accidents if we could usually get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May means drowsiness." (and.. .I’m receiving this because…?)
On many brands of Yuletide lights: "For indoor or outside have make make make make use of of of of of only." (as against to… what?)
On the Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the alternative use." (now, somebody out there, assistance me upon this. I’m the bit curious.)
On Sunsbury’s peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about the headlines flash)
On an American Airlines parcel of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)
On the child’s superman costume: "Wearing of this mantle does not capacitate we to fly." (I do not censure the company. we censure the relatives for this one.)
On the Swedish chainsaw: "Do not try to stop sequence with your hands." (..was there the lot of this function somewhere?)
lolol that made my day. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Thanks.
A few more for you? Not that you have not listed MANY good ones as is:
Would a fly without wngs be called a "walk"?
If a DEAF child is caught cursing, do the parents wash out his HANDS?
How do we get deer to cross right at the yelow sign?
Why is called "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first you do is state your name and that you are an alcoholic?
Only in America can you complain if your coffee is too cold and file a law suit when it is too hot…(I mean isn’t coffee supposed to be HOT?!)
Why do we drive on a paerkway and park in the driveway?
lol.
hilarious man i heard all this before but hearing it again makes me lagh =]
lol funny stuff
I just wasted 5 minutes of my life…at least it was kind of interesting I guess.
thanks that was great.
5, 6 and 7 are hilarious!
LMAO just about to leave work and that was hilarious glad I got to read before walking out the door!
Wow, I’ve never spent so much time reading a ‘question’. lol. that was good though.
Those were great! Thank you!
Only in America where you can get a pizza delivered faster to your door (and guaranteed to be hot or it’s free) than an ambulance before the victim dies and the body gets cold and you still have to pay for the ambulance service!
I loved #9. If there ever was a truth about the meaning of the word politics, that is it. Thanks for the laugh!
cool..thanx
OMG Thoses are really Good. I thought about printing them out even! Here have a STAR!!!
LOLZ
OMG DAMN I NEVER REALIZED HOW STUPID WE (america) CAN BE
LOL HAHAHHAHAAAAAAAA
So funny….incredibly true!!!!